An Open Letter to My Social Media Stalker

Dear R

You may not have realised that sending multiple messages to both my blog Facebook pages, citing tweets I’d posted, was a stalkerish thing to do, resulting in me blocking you on both platforms. You may not have realised that beginning your message with ‘Peekaboo Lisa’ was in any way frightening, but I’m telling you that it was.

The fact that you have now left a letter at my hotel is a step too far, buddy, so please keep your distance. I have my own friends in Dahab and I don’t need your ‘help’ to experience the town. If anything, I might have to call on their ‘help’ to keep you away.

I am finding it highly ironic that I have nothing to fear from my Egyptian male friends, but the one British guy that decides to get in touch seems to think I might be on a pleasure-seeking trip involving him.

I’m not. My pleasure is sorted, thanks.

Now fuck off. In the nicest possible way.